No really, I do. I see them everyday. (Unfortunately, they aren't as cool as the ones above.) I've worn them everyday for the last sixteen years. They aren't flashy. They aren't always that comfortable. They're just glorified boxer-briefs and undershirts. Throughout the years I've had some nonmember friends ask me about them, and for the most part they are satisfied with my reply, "Before I tell you about my underwear, let's talk about yours." Actually, I usually just say they are a way for me to remember certain promises I've made to the Lord. That's it. I've never felt the need to show them what they look like or "justify" the reason why I use them. It's none of their business. Plus, I made solemn covenants to my Savior that I wouldn't reveal certain things about the garment and I intend to honor those covenants.
Which was why I was so surprised when a friend posted this to his Facebook page:
At first I thought it was a joke. Then I clicked the link and watched in stunned silence as the newscaster-like voice of the narrator explained about sacred vestments used in other religions, and then segued that into a description of the ceremonial temple robes and undergarment. I literally felt like I was outside of my body, my mind screaming, "Why did they do this? Why have they put something so sacred on display for the world to see?" I felt like someone had poured a cold bucket of water down my back.
But that didn't prepare me for how I would feel when I read people's comments. I was aghast and mortified, but these brothers and sisters were applauding the Church's decision to make the video. Some of their comments are as follows:
And my favorite:
Drew1House
It is interesting to me that people who wear these choose to have a negative view of this. #1 do you think the church would somehow produce a video like this without the explicit knowledge and input from the first presidency and the 12? #2 LDS Living is owned by Deseret Book as of several years ago. Thus their employees are working for the church though indirectly. People have accused them of releasing something on here incorrectly... Really? #3 How can you say you support and follow the prophet and take issue with the decision to produce and release this through LDS Newsroom. #4 By the way... If it was not intended to be released to NEWS sources... Maybe they would have released it in a very different manner? Maybe in a doctrine section of LDS.org? Dontcha think?
These types of comments go on and on ad nauseam. To be fair, there were a few comments here and there by people who felt very uncomfortable by the video. But their concerns were quickly dismissed by more "faithful members" who would tell them to "follow the prophet" and, yes, even pull out the erroneous non-doctrine quote that "a prophet would be struck dead before he would be allowed to lead people astray." I spent a good ten minutes reading comment after comment about how wonderful it was that the Church decided to make our lives easier by explaining the sacred garment in such a flawless manner. And I do have to admit, all those pesky non-Mormons were sure getting annoying with all of their questions about our undies!
All joking aside, the more comments I read, the sadder I began to feel. Person after person applauding this video where the Church reveals one of the most sacred symbols of our temple worship--like literally throwing pearls before swine--and the membership stands and applauds and condones without even batting an eye. I couldn't help but wonder, "What is becoming of us?"
I'm reminded of a story.
There used to be a haughty and vain emperor who prided himself on his costly clothing. The emperor unknowingly hires two swindlers and charges them to make him the finest clothing anyone had ever seen. The swindlers promised to make him clothing from the very finest fabric, so fine that anyone unworthy or hoplessly stupid could not see it. The people in the emperor's court were unable to see the fabric the swindlers were speaking of but feared they would be shunned or ridiculed as unworthy or stupid. And so, all of them acted like they did see the cloth, all the while praising the swindlers. The emperor was also unable to see any fabric, but he didn't want the rest of his court to think he was unworthy or stupid, so he acted like he was seeing the finest fabric money could buy.
Finally, the swindlers finish the suit. The emperor was so excited to show off his new suit that he decided to wear it in his procession and show it to his people. The townsfolk all knew by that time that anyone who couldn't see the suit was either unworthy or stupid. And so, they congratulated the emperor on his beautiful new clothing, all the while he paraded down the street with his jiggly-bits for all to see. Finally, a young child blurted out, "The emperor is naked!" and started to laugh. The emperor hears this, but decides the boy is unworthy or stupid, and he continues on his way.
We've all know how this ends. The suit was nothing more than a ruse, one that the emperor willingly fell into because nobody from his court dared to stand up and tell the truth. As he paraded his nakedness around his kingdom, the townsfolk were also too afraid to be seen as stupid, and praised the emperor for his new clothes. The only person with courage enough to finally recognize and declare the truth was a little boy whose youthful exuberance and innocence had yet to be squashed by the influence of adults. He was the only person to point out the proverbial "[naked] elephant in the room." His was the only voice of reason.
In a very real sense, I feel as if the Church is parading around thinking it's wearing it's very finest clothing (Meet the Mormons, City Creek, the I'm a Mormon campaign, etc.), but in truth all it is showing is nakedness. And yet, the members (like those quoted above) think this is the greatest thing to happen since changing the ages for prospective missionaries. Our leaders have decided to place something very sacred to us on center stage where anyone can see. They chose to show the ceremonial temple robes as well as the garment on YouTube, filed somewhere between the keyboard playing cats and twerking videos. They showed people buying garments and became defensive about the fact that people who don't know better call them "magic underwear." (Which, according to the video should offend me deeply. But, I'm much more offended about the fact that the Church thought it was ok to make a video showing the entire world something they made me covenant I would never reveal.) And what do we members do? We flood the internet with cookie cutter phrases such as, "This was truly inspired," "This is further proof that the Church is true," or "I'm so glad I'm a member." Are we truly that mechanical and unthinking when it comes to the Church? Or is it that people are truly miffed by this video but refuse to verbalize their discontent?
Church leaders should be held accountable for the things they are doing. There are people out there who have become disenchanted with the corporate Church and are able to see past the hip, modern facade the Church is trying to create for itself and recognize things for what they truly are--pomp and fanfare for doing a whole lot of nothing.
Lastly, I can guarantee that garments aren't "magic" underwear. If they were, they would most definitely fit better and overall be more comfortable.
There used to be a haughty and vain emperor who prided himself on his costly clothing. The emperor unknowingly hires two swindlers and charges them to make him the finest clothing anyone had ever seen. The swindlers promised to make him clothing from the very finest fabric, so fine that anyone unworthy or hoplessly stupid could not see it. The people in the emperor's court were unable to see the fabric the swindlers were speaking of but feared they would be shunned or ridiculed as unworthy or stupid. And so, all of them acted like they did see the cloth, all the while praising the swindlers. The emperor was also unable to see any fabric, but he didn't want the rest of his court to think he was unworthy or stupid, so he acted like he was seeing the finest fabric money could buy.
Finally, the swindlers finish the suit. The emperor was so excited to show off his new suit that he decided to wear it in his procession and show it to his people. The townsfolk all knew by that time that anyone who couldn't see the suit was either unworthy or stupid. And so, they congratulated the emperor on his beautiful new clothing, all the while he paraded down the street with his jiggly-bits for all to see. Finally, a young child blurted out, "The emperor is naked!" and started to laugh. The emperor hears this, but decides the boy is unworthy or stupid, and he continues on his way.
We've all know how this ends. The suit was nothing more than a ruse, one that the emperor willingly fell into because nobody from his court dared to stand up and tell the truth. As he paraded his nakedness around his kingdom, the townsfolk were also too afraid to be seen as stupid, and praised the emperor for his new clothes. The only person with courage enough to finally recognize and declare the truth was a little boy whose youthful exuberance and innocence had yet to be squashed by the influence of adults. He was the only person to point out the proverbial "[naked] elephant in the room." His was the only voice of reason.
In a very real sense, I feel as if the Church is parading around thinking it's wearing it's very finest clothing (Meet the Mormons, City Creek, the I'm a Mormon campaign, etc.), but in truth all it is showing is nakedness. And yet, the members (like those quoted above) think this is the greatest thing to happen since changing the ages for prospective missionaries. Our leaders have decided to place something very sacred to us on center stage where anyone can see. They chose to show the ceremonial temple robes as well as the garment on YouTube, filed somewhere between the keyboard playing cats and twerking videos. They showed people buying garments and became defensive about the fact that people who don't know better call them "magic underwear." (Which, according to the video should offend me deeply. But, I'm much more offended about the fact that the Church thought it was ok to make a video showing the entire world something they made me covenant I would never reveal.) And what do we members do? We flood the internet with cookie cutter phrases such as, "This was truly inspired," "This is further proof that the Church is true," or "I'm so glad I'm a member." Are we truly that mechanical and unthinking when it comes to the Church? Or is it that people are truly miffed by this video but refuse to verbalize their discontent?
Church leaders should be held accountable for the things they are doing. There are people out there who have become disenchanted with the corporate Church and are able to see past the hip, modern facade the Church is trying to create for itself and recognize things for what they truly are--pomp and fanfare for doing a whole lot of nothing.
Lastly, I can guarantee that garments aren't "magic" underwear. If they were, they would most definitely fit better and overall be more comfortable.
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